The loss of a baby through still birth or a cot death is an overwhelming event to come to terms with. Your own feelings of grief and shock, isolation, frustrating, guilt and anger may result in emotional confusion, compounded by the fact that even close friends and family may find it impossible to speak to you to convey their sympathy fully over something so devastating. This kind of taboo all too often compounds the highly stressful feelings of unfounded guilt which many parents bereaved in this way experience.
Professional counsel ling, with sensitive suggestions of ways to cop, guidance on how to handle the grieving process from people who have shared the same experience, may be the best course. Self help support groups, in particular sands (stillbirth and neonatal death society) offer invaluable help in this direction. Such manifestations of stress are usually quite easily dealt with, and short lived, but they all require prompt attention. Children have to be taught to cope with stress from an early age: if this can be achieved successfully, it will provide them with a sound foundation for handling more complex forms of stress later in life. It is therefore very important for adults to be able to identify the sort of situations which may cause individual children difficulties these may be a various as a fear of the dark, or of being left alone, learning how to share things, or how to take teasing.
Given that children have everything to learn as they embark upon their lives, it is not surprising that they frequently experience feeling of uncertainty, and as we have seen, uncertainty and stress often go in tandem. Children need firm and fair direction to overcome these uncertainties, and encouragement to help them to learn to make their own decisions as a first strep towards coping successfully with stress.
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